I had a thought in my head... I imagined myself surrounded by my friends, and one by one they were falling down dead. Instead of dealing with their life threatening situations I would hang out with them, party, and do nice things with them... but not address their dying.
If I really cared about my friends then I wouldn't care if telling them about Jesus made them mad, or resentful. If I REALLY loved them, then none of those fears at all would even hold any weight. If I REALLY cared about them then I would tell them straight to their face, probably as quickly as possible. If I REALLY loved then I wouldn't just watch them die and pretend that I did all that I could to stop it.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
There is this girl that I have really wanted to see belive in Jesus and give Him her life. She's had a really rough life and a lot of terrible things have been done to her. My heart aches sooo bad for this girl, seeing her draws the compassion out of me like sludge from deep down. In my prayers for her I've been really desperate and bitter, almost like, if I didn't care then, no one would and God would do nothing. But today I realized that I forgot that God has more compassion for her than I do. It's Him that sent me to her in the first place. So it's not about how much I care, but realizing how much He cares and making that my motivation.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
killing me softly
Ohh yeah I forgot that when God says, "no" about something, it is usually because He sees that it will end up hurting me in the end. Okay... you win. Kill me with kindness why don't ya.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Consider it not strange the firery trial which will test you
I once heard someone say that in pottery you can test to see if the pot is done by flicking it with your finger. If it makes a "thuud" sound, you know it needs more time but if when you flick it, it makes a resounding singing sound, it is done.
Am I done? In my current trial am I singing and praising? Or am I a thud?
Ahhh... the thought of worshiping during the fire sounds peaceful.
Am I done? In my current trial am I singing and praising? Or am I a thud?
Ahhh... the thought of worshiping during the fire sounds peaceful.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
A devotional that is too radical and fitting to not be put on here.
" He took the twelve aside . . . —Luke 18:31
Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! Do you say, "But He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing good in me and I have no value"? That is exactly why He chose you. As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him "to Jerusalem" ( Luke 18:31 ). And that will mean the fulfillment of purposes which He does not discuss with you.
We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian. It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience— all of that is of no avail in this concern. The only thing of value is being taken into the compelling purpose of God and being made His friends (see 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 ). God’s friendship is with people who know their poverty. He can accomplish nothing with the person who thinks that he is of use to God. As Christians we are not here for our own purpose at all— we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God’s compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him. We must never allow anything to damage our relationship with God, but if something does damage it, we must take the time to make it right again. " ...
-My Utmost for His Highest Devotional (excerpt)
1 Corinthians 1:26-29
"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, 29 that no flesh should glory in His presence."
Monday, July 27, 2009
Do you ever feel like God intentionally has you go around in circles? Like, He doesn't show you the way out, until after you've already hit all the dead ends? I realized today, that a lot of the time I am trying to reach a goal that is at the end of a process, while God is looking for something that is found during the process. Weird... to think how different life might be if God's goals, became my goals, instead of the world's goals becoming my goals, then I wouldn't be so frustrated after looking and applying for jobs all day! haha
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The other day I was in an argument with God, and I ended up learning something that is worth writing down and remembering.
"Why do I have to get out of bed? Why does following You require me to suffer so much?"
"... in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— " -2 Corinthians 11 exerpt
Well, it seems I'm right, if I obey you, I will be led into pain.
"Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." - 2 Timothy 3:12
Great.
"... as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation." - 2 Corinthians 1:7b
But sometimes even the reward seems not enough of an encouragement to get up and get beaten up. Why is it necessary to take us through trials with pain and anguish?
"For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." -hebrews 12:3
"...His visage was marred more than any man..." -Isaiah 52:14b (He was beaten so badly, He was unrecognizable as human)
...Consider Him.... Quite humbling to remember the torment Jesus went through, and how he obeyed not with whining and complaining, or bitterness and anger. What was His motivation? How can I learn from Him?
"...who loved me and gave Himself for me" -galatians 2:20b
"...who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;" 1 Peter 2:23
"Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." -luke 22:42
"...He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" -philippians 2:8
Jesus did it, He endured it, because He loved His father and because He loved me. That's good enough. That is motivation enough for me to be willing to be subjected to immense suffering. Jesus did it for others, He did it out of trust and love for God. He didn't insist on His own way. He choose to stay obedient even when He saw that the path led to the slaughter house.
"looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, ..." - hebrews 12:2a
I know that some people enjoy their sufferings for Christ. But I do not see myself doing so.
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake." 2 corinthians 12:10a
"So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name." -acts 5:41
But what is the difference? Why did Christ endure it, and the disciples almost enjoy it? ...Because they were glad to be doing it for Him, for His name, for His kingdom. Out of love they were proud to be associated with such a person. To suffer along with Him they counted as an honor.
Okay now for the happy finish!
"Blessed are you when men hate you,
And when they exclude you,
And revile you, and cast out your name as evil,
For the Son of Man’s sake.
Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!
For indeed your reward is great in heaven,
For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets." -luke 6:22-23
"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy." - 1 peter 4:12-13
"If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified." 1 peter 4:14
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." -revelation 2:10
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it." - mark 8:35
"Why do I have to get out of bed? Why does following You require me to suffer so much?"
"... in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— " -2 Corinthians 11 exerpt
Well, it seems I'm right, if I obey you, I will be led into pain.
"Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." - 2 Timothy 3:12
Great.
"... as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation." - 2 Corinthians 1:7b
But sometimes even the reward seems not enough of an encouragement to get up and get beaten up. Why is it necessary to take us through trials with pain and anguish?
"For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." -hebrews 12:3
"...His visage was marred more than any man..." -Isaiah 52:14b (He was beaten so badly, He was unrecognizable as human)
...Consider Him.... Quite humbling to remember the torment Jesus went through, and how he obeyed not with whining and complaining, or bitterness and anger. What was His motivation? How can I learn from Him?
"...who loved me and gave Himself for me" -galatians 2:20b
"...who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;" 1 Peter 2:23
"Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." -luke 22:42
"...He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" -philippians 2:8
Jesus did it, He endured it, because He loved His father and because He loved me. That's good enough. That is motivation enough for me to be willing to be subjected to immense suffering. Jesus did it for others, He did it out of trust and love for God. He didn't insist on His own way. He choose to stay obedient even when He saw that the path led to the slaughter house.
"looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, ..." - hebrews 12:2a
I know that some people enjoy their sufferings for Christ. But I do not see myself doing so.
"Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake." 2 corinthians 12:10a
"So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name." -acts 5:41
But what is the difference? Why did Christ endure it, and the disciples almost enjoy it? ...Because they were glad to be doing it for Him, for His name, for His kingdom. Out of love they were proud to be associated with such a person. To suffer along with Him they counted as an honor.
Okay now for the happy finish!
"Blessed are you when men hate you,
And when they exclude you,
And revile you, and cast out your name as evil,
For the Son of Man’s sake.
Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!
For indeed your reward is great in heaven,
For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets." -luke 6:22-23
"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy." - 1 peter 4:12-13
"If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified." 1 peter 4:14
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." -revelation 2:10
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it." - mark 8:35
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The other day, I was wondering why my faith on certain subjects had deteriorated; things I had previously believed for and stepped out into. It was a bummer because some of the things made my lifestyle more fun and dangerous.
I found that the problem was that as much as I have a list of good testimonies that encourage faith, I had a list of bad testimonies about how God, seemingly, dropped the ball. Whew! it was really great going over them, and getting His perspective on what happened; realizing that there are some things God doesn't lower the standard on just because you are lazy. Like, trying to claim only one side of a promise... i.e. "draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Gotta do my part on things!
NOW for a song... "just keep doing your best... and pray that it's blessed... and Jesus takes care of the rest, Oh- the Lord- said that- He'll take care of the rest..."
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Yay, Epiphany!
I am very happy now; previously I was quite discouraged.
Have you ever bought a gift for someone and it was a really good gift that you knew that they would love? Do you remember how badly you wanted them to open it? ... How the anticipation was too much to wait for, so much so that you would give them the gift a week before their birthday?
- THAT is the way God feels toward you when He makes you a promise! "Do not fear little flock for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom"-luke 12:32
"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us..." -2 peter 3:9
It's only because of His wisdom and mercy that He waits patiently, because when your faith is tested, you gain patience, and patience will help you in every other way. He wants you to keep the present and to grow, and not have the present hurt you in the long run.
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." -james 1:2-4
Yay! I now have hope, instead of doubt. And my faith is now founded on who I know Him to be... Loving, kind, patient, and in no way cruel, or ignorant of His children's requests.
thank you jesus!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Another delightful devotional
The Habit of Enjoying Adversity. . . that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body —2 Corinthians 4:10
We have to develop godly habits to express what God’s grace has done in us. It is not just a question of being saved from hell, but of being saved so that "the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." And it is adversity that makes us exhibit His life in our mortal flesh. Is my life exhibiting the essence of the sweetness of the Son of God, or just the basic irritation of "myself" that I would have apart from Him? The only thing that will enable me to enjoy adversity is the acute sense of eagerness of allowing the life of the Son of God to evidence itself in me. No matter how difficult something may be, I must say, "Lord, I am delighted to obey You in this." Instantly, the Son of God will move to the forefront of my life, and will manifest in my body that which glorifies Him.
You must not debate. The moment you obey the light of God, His Son shines through you in that very adversity; but if you debate with God, you grieve His Spirit (see Ephesians 4:30 ). You must keep yourself in the proper condition to allow the life of the Son of God to be manifested in you, and you cannot keep yourself fit if you give way to self-pity. Our circumstances are the means God uses to exhibit just how wonderfully perfect and extraordinarily pure His Son is. Discovering a new way of manifesting the Son of God should make our heart beat with renewed excitement. It is one thing to choose adversity, and quite another to enter into adversity through the orchestrating of our circumstances by God’s sovereignty. And if God puts you into adversity, He is adequately sufficient to "supply all your need" ( Philippians 4:19 ).
Keep your soul properly conditioned to manifest the life of the Son of God. Never live on your memories of past experiences, but let the Word of God always be living and active in you. ~~~~
_Oswald Chambers_My Utmost for His Highest_http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php_
~∂~~∂~<@ Ohh how I enjoy mindsets that allow me to be happy in any circumstance! ©>~ƒ~~
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Today's "My Utmost for His Highest" Daily devotional by Oswald Chambers
" A spiritually-minded person will never come to you with the demand— 'Believe this and that'; a spiritually-minded person will demand that you align your life with the standards of Jesus. We are not asked to believe the Bible, but to believe the One whom the Bible reveals (see John 5:39-40 ). We are called to present liberty for the conscience of others, not to bring them liberty for their thoughts and opinions. And if we ourselves are free with the liberty of Christ, others will be brought into that same liberty— the liberty that comes from realizing the absolute control and authority of Jesus Christ.
Always measure your life solely by the standards of Jesus. Submit yourself to His yoke, and His alone; and always be careful never to place a yoke on others that is not of Jesus Christ. It takes God a long time to get us to stop thinking that unless everyone sees things exactly as we do, they must be wrong. That is never God’s view. There is only one true liberty— the liberty of Jesus at work in our conscience enabling us to do what is right.
Don’t get impatient with others. Remember how God dealt with you— with patience and with gentleness. But never water down the truth of God. Let it have its way and never apologize for it. Jesus said, 'Go . . . and make disciples. . ."' ( Matthew 28:19 ), not, 'Make converts to your own thoughts and opinions.' "
-- the last part was gud stuf. I never thought about that, making people disciples of Jesus.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
lately
I haven't been experiencing a lot of spiritual warfare lately. Have I become less of a threat to the darkness? That does it! Time to go bananas for jesus.
Monday, March 16, 2009
YES!
Lately amidst everyone's questions of, "Where are you going to move next month when the lease is up?" I've found myself without a satisfying answer.
"Where do you want to go cal?" I ask myself. "Stay in Sacramento? Move to; San Francisco? Santa Maria? San Luis? Indonesia? Africa? ... Mecca?" With every deep thought toward each option, I reach the reach the same conclusion of dissatisfaction. No matter how extravagant the idea.
I realized that I'm not the only person who seems to be discontent with their environment. So many of my friends seem to suffer from the same relocation addiction too. "What's the deal?!!"
Here are some pages from the instruction manual:
"10 for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
... confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.
... But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." -(hebrews 11 exerpts)
yummy! I'll take that one for me.
So the next time someone asks me about where I am going, I'll tell them, "I am going into God's presence and worshiping Him." or "I'm going to the ends of the earth and back to get Jesus bride!"
(rolling eyes and long sighs) ... "Yes, but what are your plans Cal?"
- "To live out God's highest will for me today. Being so consumed and content with it, that I have no desire to hope that tomorrow holds anything different than that very same thing."
"Where do you want to go cal?" I ask myself. "Stay in Sacramento? Move to; San Francisco? Santa Maria? San Luis? Indonesia? Africa? ... Mecca?" With every deep thought toward each option, I reach the reach the same conclusion of dissatisfaction. No matter how extravagant the idea.
I realized that I'm not the only person who seems to be discontent with their environment. So many of my friends seem to suffer from the same relocation addiction too. "What's the deal?!!"
Here are some pages from the instruction manual:
"10 for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
... confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.
... But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." -(hebrews 11 exerpts)
yummy! I'll take that one for me.
So the next time someone asks me about where I am going, I'll tell them, "I am going into God's presence and worshiping Him." or "I'm going to the ends of the earth and back to get Jesus bride!"
(rolling eyes and long sighs) ... "Yes, but what are your plans Cal?"
- "To live out God's highest will for me today. Being so consumed and content with it, that I have no desire to hope that tomorrow holds anything different than that very same thing."
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